Bisexual Erasure in Therapy: Affirming Bisexual Clients in a World That Invalidates Them

Have you ever felt like your bisexuality was questioned, dismissed, or misunderstood—even in spaces that are supposed to be supportive? Maybe you’ve heard things like:

💬 “You’ll figure it out eventually.”
💬 “Are you sure you’re not just gay or straight?”
💬 “It’s just a phase.”
💬 “You have to pick a side.”

These statements—and the attitudes behind them—are examples of bisexual erasure, a form of invalidation that makes bisexuality seem invisible, illegitimate, or temporary. And unfortunately, it doesn’t just happen in the world at large—it can show up in therapy, too.

What is Bisexual Erasure?

Bisexual erasure happens when people ignore, minimize, or deny bisexuality as a real, stable identity. It can look like:

🚫 Assuming a bisexual person is straight or gay based on their current relationship.
🚫 Suggesting that bisexuality is “just a phase” on the way to identifying as gay or lesbian.
🚫 Believing that bisexual people are confused, indecisive, or attention-seeking.
🚫 Ignoring bisexuality altogether in LGBTQ+ discussions and mental health care.

When therapists hold these biases—consciously or unconsciously—it can leave bisexual clients feeling unseen, frustrated, or even ashamed of their identity.

The Impact of Bisexual Erasure on Mental Health

Bisexual individuals face higher rates of anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation than both straight and gay/lesbian individuals. A big reason for this is the unique stress of feeling invisible, even within LGBTQ+ spaces.

Many bisexual people struggle with:

❌ Feeling like they don’t belong in either straight or queer communities.
❌ Self-doubt and internalized biphobia, questioning if their identity is “real enough.”
❌ Relationship stigma, being seen as “untrustworthy” or “greedy” in dating.
❌ Fear of coming out repeatedly, since people often assume their orientation based on their partner.

When therapy fails to acknowledge these challenges, it can make bisexual clients feel even more isolated. That’s why affirming, informed care is essential.

How Therapy Can Affirm Bisexual Clients

A bisexual-affirming therapist understands that bisexuality is:

✅ A real, valid, and stable identity—regardless of relationship status.
✅ Not a phase, a stepping stone, or a cover for being gay or straight.
✅ A unique experience with its own challenges and joys.

If you’re in therapy (or looking for a therapist), here are some ways to ensure your identity is seen and respected:

1. Find a Therapist Who Understands Bisexuality

Not all LGBTQ+ therapists are well-versed in bisexual issues. Ask potential therapists about their experience working with bisexual clients, and don’t be afraid to clarify that you’re looking for someone who affirms bisexuality as its own identity—not a transition phase.

2. Speak Up About Your Experience

If you notice your therapist making assumptions about your sexuality based on your partner or questioning your identity, it’s okay to bring it up. A good therapist will be open to learning and correcting their approach.

3. Challenge Internalized Biphobia

Years of erasure and invalidation can make bisexual people doubt their own experiences. Therapy can be a space to unlearn harmful beliefs, affirm your identity, and build confidence in your queerness—on your own terms.

4. Explore Relationship and Community Challenges

Feeling “invisible” in both straight and LGBTQ+ spaces can be frustrating. An affirming therapist can help you navigate relationships, dating, and finding community in a way that honors your identity.

5. Affirm That You Don’t Have to Prove Anything

Your bisexuality is real, no matter who you date, how long you’ve known, or how others perceive you. Therapy should reinforce the truth that you are enough, exactly as you are.

You Deserve to Be Seen

Bisexuality is not halfway, indecisive, or “confused.” It is whole, complete, and valid. If you’ve ever felt erased, dismissed, or misunderstood—especially in therapy—you deserve a space where your identity is affirmed and celebrated.

LGBTQ+ Affirmative Therapy provides that space. Whether you’re navigating internalized biphobia, relationships, or just looking for support in embracing your full self, therapy can help.

👉 Looking for a therapist who truly sees you? Reach out today to connect with a bisexual-affirming therapist who understands and supports your journey.