Relationship Counseling

Do You Worry That You’re Losing Yourself In Relationships?

Have you been longing for a closer connection with a romantic partner, yet you keep pushing each other away? Does it seem like you keep engaging in the same ineffective communication patterns? Are you afraid to show your partner or friends who you really are because you worry that your honesty and vulnerability will lead to rejection?

Perhaps you feel alone, even when you’re surrounded by other people or spending time with your partner. You don’t know how to overcome the hostility and resentment brewing between you and your partner, and you find yourselves having the same arguments over and over again. 

You’re not sure how to close the growing distance between you and your partner. Your stress makes it hard to uphold your responsibilities, and you might turn to harmful coping strategies like substance abuse to suppress these emotions, which only further isolates you from your wider social circle.

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Our Culture Upholds Unrealistic Expectations For Relationships

Lots of people who are struggling with relationships feel like they’re the only ones facing these challenges. Unrealistic portrayals of relationships on social media contribute to this perception. Many people feel inadequate and unhappy in their own relationships because idealized images of other romantic relationships, friendships, and families surround them. Additionally, partners who have differing expectations for each other based on traditional gender will likely run into conflicts.

Today, people’s relationships are under stress due to multiple factors. Many people have demanding jobs and deal with economic instability, which strains their emotional and physical wellbeing. Although we’re constantly connected to each other via digital devices, spending so much time online reduces quality time in relationships, creating distance between partners.

People Overlook The Root Causes Of Their Relationship Troubles

When someone is unsatisfied with their relationships, they often try to treat the symptoms of the problem first rather than tackling the root cause. For example, in a romantic relationship they might attempt to avoid arguing and improve their sex life, but overlook how their family history could be affecting how they communicate with their partner.

Even those who want to address the issues in their relationships may worry that reaching out for help is a sign of weakness. They might also hesitate to pursue therapy because they assume that if they need counseling for solving their problems, the relationship isn’t meant to be. Furthermore, our culture’s emphasis on individual success leads people to believe that they should be able to tackle challenges without support.

Critical relationship-building skills like healthy communication, conflict resolution, and emotional regulation are not innate. By working on these skills with a therapist, you can form trustworthy, lasting connections with other people without feeling the need to hide your feelings or needs.

Relationship Therapy Can Help You Build Healthy, Genuine Connections

Relationship therapy is not just for individuals or couples in romantic relationships. In my counseling practice, I support people who are seeking to improve various types of relationships, including friendships and relationships with coworkers or family members. No matter which connections you’re hoping to strengthen, I can provide you with the tools and skills you need to foster more fulfilling relationships in all areas of your life.

What To Expect In Relationship Therapy

I offer counseling to individuals as well as heterosexual and LGBTQ couples who hope to enhance their relationships. I’m passionate about supporting all types of relationships, with a special focus on the LGBTQ+ community and open or polyamorous dynamics. I embrace working with individuals and couples of all identities: straight, gay, bi, transgender, and gender non-conforming. Whatever your relationship structure, therapy can help create a supportive and understanding space where you feel truly welcome and understood.  

I primarily work with individual clients who are attending sessions on their own to gain skills that they can apply to improve their relationships. I do not require clients in relationship therapy to bring their partner to sessions. 

When you begin relationship therapy, I’ll invite you to share the history of your relationship as well as the current problems you’re dealing with. We’ll draw connections between the past and the present by exploring how past trauma, unresolved conflicts, and family histories might be influencing your relationship today. This will enable you to identify and break unhealthy cycles. 

Additionally, we’ll focus on reigniting the spark in your relationship. Perhaps your sex life has diminished, or you find it difficult to express your deepest desires, especially if you and your partner have different needs and wants. In any relationship, intimacy can fluctuate, but the ability to communicate openly and ask for what you truly need and desire is vital. Therapy can help you create a space where you can explore, understand, and revive the passion in your relationship. 

We’ll also address symptoms of your relationship troubles, like anxiety, frustration, and emotional withdrawal, and their specific triggers, allowing you to gain insights on how your emotions influence your behaviors. Furthermore, we’ll outline realistic long-term goals so that you can determine the specific changes you want to achieve within your relationships.

Treatment Approaches To Relationship Therapy

When working with individual clients in relationship therapy, I apply a psychodynamic approach, helping you foster deeper self awareness by exploring unresolved conflicts and past trauma to see how these experiences influence your relationship today. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can benefit individuals and couples alike by identifying and rewriting negative thoughts and behavioral patterns. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) can empower couples to strengthen their bond by delving into the underlying emotions that have come to define their relationship.

With Attachment-Based Theory, you can understand how your attachment style with your childhood caregivers manifests in your relationships today, and with Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, you’ll notice how different aspects of your personality aim to protect you and how you can reconnect with your true self while practicing vulnerability.

In addition to drawing on diverse modalities, we’ll also work on practical skills to improve your approach to communication and navigating conflicts, such as active listening, using “I” statements to avoid defensiveness, and role-playing scenarios to get comfortable with conflict resolution and setting boundaries. I’ll also help you identify activities that you and your partner both enjoy to rebuild emotional and physical intimacy, like mutual hobbies and date nights.

With guidance, it is entirely possible to break free from unhealthy patterns and create the meaningful relationships you desire. With the help of a therapist, you can address core issues that are harming your relationships, deepen your self-awareness, and cultivate loving relationships where you can show up as your genuine self.