Therapy for Men
Do You Feel Like You’re Living A Life That Isn’t Your Own?
Are you frustrated with your circumstances in your career and personal life, yet lack the motivation or clarity to make a lasting change? Do you struggle to assert yourself and advocate for your own needs? Have you been suppressing your emotions around these issues because you worry that expressing yourself will make others perceive you as weak?
Men grappling with depression, anxiety, or insecurity might have trouble fostering healthy, long-term relationships with friends and romantic partners. You fear that opening up about your mental health would result in abandonment or rejection, yet keeping yourself closed off creates obstacles to intimacy and fuels conflicts at work and with friends, family members, and significant others.
Low Self-Esteem Can Make It Hard Forge Your Own Path
The belief that you don’t deserve help and support when you’re struggling can lead to low self-worth. When you have low self-worth, it’s easy to feel uncertain about your future simply because it’s hard to envision yourself in better circumstances. Your indecisiveness might drive impulsivity, and you may find yourself drifting aimlessly between different jobs, relationships, and cities. Your hesitancy to make long-term commitments leaves you feeling isolated.
You might be tired of waking up with a sense of dread, but you don’t know how to change direction, and you wish you had the courage to make decisions independent of external validation. You strive to satisfy other people’s needs, but being a “people pleaser” means that you sacrifice your own needs, which leads to short-term frustration and long-term anger.
Reaching out for help might seem intimidating, but working with the right therapist can be transformative. Through therapy, men can explore what they really want out of life, start looking inward rather than outward for validation, and honor their own needs and desires in relationships
Have any questions? Send me a message!
Societal Expectations Put Unrealistic Pressure On Men
Our culture tells men that they should be stoic and self-reliant. This toxic vision of masculinity teaches men that they must repress their feelings, which leads to internalized stress and unaddressed emotional issues.
Traditional gender roles dictate that men should fill the “provider” role in their households and build lucrative careers. But today, an unstable job market combined with high costs of living are making it more difficult for men to achieve their professional goals. Men who are struggling financially may wonder if they have any real value beyond their earning potential.
Men Often Avoid Reaching Out For Help
Men who had traumatic upbringings in dysfunctional families where emotional expression was discouraged might struggle greatly in adulthood. In households like these, love was conditional, and boys were taught that their needs were a burden on their parents, which meant that expressing their needs was met with shame and ridicule. Validation was only granted for meeting their parents’ expectations.
Men who were raised in these circumstances might push people away when they’re suffering rather than opening up. They may have difficulty cultivating healthy, long-lasting relationships or communicating their feelings without getting angry.
For men, in particular, there is a stigma against seeking mental health support. Men often avoid vulnerability or feel ashamed on the rare occasions that they open up about their emotions to people in their lives. They downplay their struggles publicly, and in order to cope with issues like depression or anxiety, they might seek temporary relief through alcohol or substance abuse or other short-term “solutions” that only worsen mental health problems in the long run.
It can be hard to pursue therapy when you’re facing this stigma. But therapy can be a powerful medium for men to achieve positive change. In counseling, you can discover the roots of your emotional troubles, get comfortable with asserting your boundaries, and find personal fulfillment as you strengthen your sense of self-esteem.
For Men, Therapy Can Be An Opportunity To Find Direction In Life
Maybe your mental health has been suffering for years because of unaddressed childhood trauma, or perhaps you feel like you’ve slowly lost yourself over the years as you conformed to other people’s expectations in adulthood. In my practice, we’ll examine how your early relationships, past experiences, and societal pressures may be influencing your current struggles.
Once we’ve identified the internal and external factors that are hindering your progress, I’ll support you in letting go of unhealthy behavioral patterns and defense mechanisms that you’ve relied on to cope with your emotions so that you can cultivate a strong sense of self-worth and start making decisions that will serve you well in the future.
What To Expect In Counseling For Men
In therapy, we’ll work together to establish your long-term goals based on your unique needs and aspirations, rather than societal expectations. Lots of men fear that if they stop striving for validation from other people, they will face rejection from their loved ones. I’ll help you get comfortable with taking small risks in your daily life, from setting boundaries at work to advocating for your needs in romantic relationships.
We’ll assess who influenced your expectations around masculinity growing up and why these beliefs might be holding you back. Over time, I’ll assist you in reframing vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness. Vulnerability indicates a willingness to work through problems courageously rather than shutting down or looking for shortcuts.
Treatment Approaches To Therapy For Men
In my practice, I emphasize psychodynamic therapy approaches, which will enable you to gain self-awareness, uncover what you genuinely want out of life, and understand how restrictive norms around masculinity might be holding you back from personal growth. Additionally, you can see how different “parts” of your personality work to protect you through Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. Attachment-based therapy can help you explore your own attachment style and build relationships with your support system founded on secure attachments.
Men who have been turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms for relief can benefit from addressing the “quick fixes” they’ve been relying on through Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT). These techniques can help you stop engaging in harmful, risky behaviors and gain a sense of emotional stability. I’ll introduce you to beneficial coping mechanisms like mindfulness and relaxation exercises.
We’ll also work on practical, interpersonal communication skills that you can apply in your personal and professional life, such as active listening, handling conflicts and disagreements without arguing, and being assertive rather than aggressive when establishing boundaries in your workplace or at home.
Therapy can help you let go of your shame, manage your time so that you can take steps towards your goals, and truly accept yourself. When you know who you are, you can make decisions rooted in your authentic goals and values rather than seeking validation from others.
But You May Still Have Questions About Men’s Counseling…
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Men often worry that their friends and family will see their choice to seek therapy as a sign of weakness. But it takes great courage to acknowledge your struggles and reach out for help. Your willingness to actively work on improving your mental health is a sign of strength and an indication that you’re taking agency in your own life, which is a powerful decision that inspires respect from others.
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Lots of men decide to make space for therapy because they are unhappy in their relationships and unsatisfied with their careers. Counseling is a space where you can practice healthy communication skills and deepen your self-awareness, which will help you build more fulfilling relationships with your loved ones and colleagues and successfully navigate workplace dynamics, leading to professional and personal satisfaction.
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Therapy is a collaborative process, and results take time. But if you communicate honestly with your therapist and dedicate time and effort to applying what you’ve learned in therapy outside of sessions, you’ll likely notice significant improvements in your mental health. If you’ve been in therapy for some time and have only seen minimal benefits, you can always discuss alternative strategies with your counselor to better address your specific needs.
Therapy Can Help Men Embrace Authenticity And Build Resilience
Through therapy, you can build your psychological strength, learn to assert yourself in a healthy way, and validate your own choices without requiring approval from others. I invite you to fill out the contact form on my website to book a free, 50-minute consultation in person or over Zoom and explore whether psychodynamic therapy is the right choice for you.
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