Understanding Shame and Its Impact on LGBTQIQ+ People
Shame is a tough emotion that can weigh us down and make us feel less than who we really are. For many LGBT+ folks, shame isn't just an internal feeling but something that's pushed onto them by society, culture, and even loved ones. In this blog, we'll break down what shame is, how it specifically affects LGBT+ people, and explore ways to move past it to embrace pride and self-acceptance.
What is Shame?
Shame is that uncomfortable feeling you get when you think you're not living up to certain standards—whether those are society's or your own. Unlike guilt, which is about what you've done, shame is more about who you are as a person. It can make you feel unworthy, unlovable, or like there's something fundamentally wrong with you. If left unchecked, shame can lead to isolation, low self-esteem, and even mental health struggles.
Shame in the LGBTQIQ+ Experience
For LGBT+ people, shame can be especially intense due to the often harsh environments they might grow up in or live within. Here are some common sources of shame:
Social Stigma and Discrimination: Society sometimes labels LGBT+ identities as "wrong" or "unnatural." This can range from outright hate speech and violence to more subtle forms of exclusion, like being left out of social circles or job opportunities.
Family Rejection: One of the hardest sources of shame can be when your family doesn't accept you. Whether it's a harsh word or being completely cut off, this kind of rejection can leave deep emotional scars, making you feel like you don't belong anywhere.
Religious and Cultural Pressures: If you come from a religious or cultural background that condemns LGBT+ identities, you might internalize those negative beliefs, leading to self-doubt and shame.
Internalized Shame: After facing so much negativity, it's easy to start believing those harmful messages yourself. This internalized shame can lead to self-hatred, anxiety, depression, and in some cases, more serious issues like self-harm or thoughts of suicide.
The Impact of Shame on Mental Health
Shame can seriously mess with your mental health. LGBT+ people are at a higher risk for issues like depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and suicide compared to their straight peers. And because shame often makes you want to hide, it can stop you from getting the help you need, making things worse over time.
Overcoming Shame
Even though shame can feel overwhelming, it’s possible to overcome it and start feeling good about who you are. Here are a few ways to do that:
Find Your People: Surround yourself with friends, peers, or allies who accept you for who you are. Being around people who celebrate your identity can help drown out the negativity and boost your self-esteem.
Talk to a Therapist: A good therapist, especially one who understands LGBT+ issues, can help you work through your feelings of shame. Therapy offers a safe space to challenge those negative beliefs and learn healthier ways to cope.
Educate Yourself: Learning about LGBT+ history and rights can be empowering. Realizing you're part of a larger community that has fought and won battles can give you a sense of strength and pride.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness, especially when you're struggling. Remember, everyone has flaws, and you deserve love and respect just as much as anyone else.
Get Involved: Joining LGBT+ advocacy or community projects can help you connect with others and feel a sense of purpose. Turning your feelings of shame into positive action can be incredibly empowering.
Embracing Pride and Self-Acceptance in the LGBTQIQ+ Community
Shame is a painful emotion that many LGBTQIQ+ people face, often because of rejection from society, family, or culture. But it doesn't have to control your life. By building a supportive community, seeking help, and practicing self-compassion, you can overcome shame and start embracing your true self with pride. Remember, you're not alone, and there's a whole community out there ready to support you on your journey to self-acceptance and happiness.
Are you struggling with shame? Take the first step toward healing and empowerment. Learn more about our services and schedule an appointment today to start your journey toward self-acceptance, pride, and a supportive community ready to stand by your side.
